I think so. Wether secular or religious or some combination, Christmas is the best holiday for the child in you. When you can be a little more giving, a little nicer, a little more of the person you wish to be. My favorite is Dicken's Christmas Carol. A ghost story, yet one built on hope, not on dispair. It highlights the singular human aspiration, you can change for the better, you can walk among the "better angels of your nature". Fleetingly maybe, but for a time at least.
Redemption is one of my favorite themes. The criminal, in a moment of revelation makes a choice, sees the burning home, hears the cries, takes a risk and saves the child from the preverbial fire and is transformed. Scrooge is a sympathetic figure to me, because he is what he is, not because he's inherently bad, but because he's simply forgotten his humanity in the bitterness of life. Lost it along the side of the road. He makes the journey back, and all is saved and good again.
It's never that simple of course, but the principle isn't so wrong. I have had two lives really. the one where I was alone, no lover, no children. Life was all responsibility and the drudgery of work. I had an emptiness the size of a heart in my chest. I fell into depression after finally one death too many, and was just about ready to let it end. Not actively, but to just pull inward totally and shut down. I had had enough, my arthritis was undiagnosed in those days, I hurt in mind and body without really knowing why. Only that my life was empty. I would as easily have stepped in front of a moving train as pour a coffee.
Somehow, somewhere I found the strength to make a decision. Rejoin life, or continue down the road to a lonely death forgotten by everyone.
I chose life. I knew I needed to see someone, maybe find that certain person that was destined to complete my soul, join ours together. I stumbled around a bit, of the sweet ladies I knew who I would consider asking for their time, who would I be afraid would not say yes to allow me to see them? Not that I'm such a catch, but if there is enough of a concern that she would say no, then maybe, just maybe, there already exists a certain spark. I knew right away who I would ask.
She said yes.
You all know how this ends up. Child number three to make it's appearence hopefully in July. When we were engaged, it was in december. So maybe now you understand why I believe in redemption. Not just from bad behavior either. But the journey from darkness to light in your own soul. We can make amends, can make an effort to do the right thing. I do not claim sole credit in my shift to the light, I just took the first step. She made the difference, making me burn to keep her love, keep her faith in me. The credit is hers, and now, her's and our two proud children.
A man is not a solitary achievement.
Many hands come into play in our construction, many lessons, many mistakes to overcome. No male is born to be a man, that is something that takes effort. Just being male and thinking it's enough is a job half done. Too many remain boys their entire lives, never knowing the difference.
And it's never too late to learn that.
Merry Christmas to us all, and to those of you follow a different path, enjoy the seaon. It truely is a magical time, open yourself to it and the joy of life will find it's way to you. Sometimes on tiny feet, with brown eyes and a heart as big as love itself.
This is a baby name finding site, my wife and I have settled on both a girl's and boy's names, but more on that in a bit. My name's meaning is listed here as defender,....ok, but here it's defined as,
MARK (English) Warlike
Much better. It's the classic definition. Supposedly traced back to the Roman God Mars, commonly Marcus in that time. The first site lists Neal as--leader. I won't show AK's since he chooses to remain unknown. But it's sort of appropriate as well. He can put it up if he likes, but I'll not violate his privacy.
What did we choose?
Well, these our our two children already.
AMANDA (Latin) Beloved
NATHAN (Hebrew) Gift from God
If it's a girl, it's to be Rebecca Cathrine.
REBECCA (Hebrew) Joined together
A boy, then Douglas Garret.
DOUGLAS (English) Thoughtful
I know that theres no serious connection between a persons name and what kind adult they turn out to be, but it's fun to play with. We are kind of a mind that it's going to be another girl, won't find out till maybe April, but we were both right twice before so who knows?
Rebecca was my mother's name. I like to think she's somewhere nice and smiling over her grandchildren, I hope so. Maybe there's a Guardian Angel position for her...........she would like that.
I believe there are....angels among us.
NEWARK -- Seven-year-old Jericho Freas stood Friday night outside the Licking County Courthouse and asked his mom if Santa was really going to make an appearance.
Everyone has local traditions, I'd be curious as to what goes on in Neal's and AK's parts of the country. We're a small town, tiny by the standards of the coasts, but we have own own ways, our own charm. As you can see we have snow already, not as much as AK would recognize, but certainly more than Neal will see from his southern vantage point. We have Christmas without snow as often as with, but strangely, I think we'll have a white Christmas this year, I feel it in my bones.
They were common in my childhood, they were the tree and outdoor light of choice at least in my hometown during the sixties to seventies. I still like them, but times change and this year the new lights are these.
Pearl lights are the coming rage, they've been out a couple of years now, but are just now becoming popular. These strangely enough are attempting a comeback. I always hated bubble lights, my one grandmother had them, and they just looked jarring on a tree. We put up our tree on Thanksgiving night, my wife's tradition, one that I enjoy now as well. On it are the new Pearl lights with some strands of the much more common mini-lights. There are about 400 lights on that tree, we like lots of lights.
However you choose to decorate this year, keep a part of the child in you alive when you do it. A little remembered innocence, a little piece of awe, a tiny bit of wonder. Hold it close for a time, and pass it on, you won't be sorry.
I'm so looking forward to this year, seeing Christmas again through the eyes of our children is like seeing it for the very first time all over again. When you had no dark side, when life was light, shiney and pure.
I hope we all enjoy the coming season.
Thanksgiving,
I give thanks for many things today, my beloved wife, our children, our child not yet born, dear friends, family, fortune in circumstance that brings us together in this place and time, a quiet day at home with the smell of a special dinner wafting through the house.
All of these things.
Thank you Neal for clearing the path and guiding the way. Thank you AK for friendship and helping me to learn as well as yourself. Thank you Cait for the emails of great worth, and your sense of fun. Thank you Bsti for giving me a place at your forum. Thank you Dr. Dna for your insight. Thank you SondraK for your very kind words and generous spirit. Thank you Moll, Mike, Dave, Tim, Emily and all the many others too numerous to name................Thank you all.
Enjoy the day, and remember that we really do have alot to be greatfull for. Sometimes the worries of the moment can overwhelm, but not today,.......... not today.
Happy Thanksgiving.
From Drudge, this story of the impossible.
ANAHEIM, Calif., Nov. 8 (UPI) -- Doctors Saturday were monitoring a California toddler who began breathing 40 minutes after she was officially pronounced dead.
I know only one thing for certain, we will never know why, or how, we should just be greatful and wonder. My mother, my grandmother spoke of miracles, my grandmother was born with a veil over her eyes and was reputed to have "second sight". My grandfather Joseph was the seventh son of a seventh son, so I was raised steeped in the mystery of sudden unexplained acts of grace.
Don't try to explain it, or blow it off, just accept, smile for that spared child, and move on. Science is a great thing, it allows man to understand his world in better and more intelligent ways, it advances and renews itself at a faster and faster rate as each year passes. Maybe somethings will never be fully understood, maybe we aren't meant or allowed certain knowledge, maybe we are presented with things like this sometimes,.......just to let us know just how little we yet understand.
As far as we have come, we still live in our own cradle. Humility, and a little awe of the universe are in order I think.
Grow and live well Mackayala, you have been graced.